Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Lake Reflections

7/15 Wed.

There is a cool wind creating choppy waters under a perfectly clear blue sky. In the hammock on this empty beach in the forest, it is wonderfully secluded. The point just north gives a flock of gulls a place to rest under a sprawling tree. The golden sunlight is still beaming on the opposite shore as the waves lap steadily upon this one. It truly is a magical place here. I take this time, four days after arriving, to reflect and listen and admire and write...

When on vacation, I sense myself returning to the more natural rhythms, ones that I forsake in my busy life. I am so thankful for a week without schedules and obligations. It's so refreshing to find that all that "urgent" stuff can wait - the world won't end if I forget it all for a week, and return with a fresh perspective on what really is important. It is amazing how much I find to fret and worry about at home! Here I am living on bare necessities, living without all the stuff and conveniences of home and am totally relaxed and comfortable and unburdened. I have laughter, family, food, shelter, sunshine and no plans! I am forced to look at what I do merely out of habit or sense of obligation. It seems that when human beings begin to think of moments in relation to an ending, a finality, that we sabotage our true natures. We begin to pick up the pace, we take obsessive thought for our sustainance, we do all kinds of unnatural things in the name of preservation and survival. It is ego's job to ensure preservation and survival, and just being aware of it's influence is beneficial. I actually forgot to bring my customary lake book, "Gift from the Sea," but I find these notes to myself echo the wisdom of that book...

I am glad to be surrounded by so many beautiful souls here at the lake cottage, and glad to have time to simply listen and admire. I find I eat differently when at leisure, with absolutely no "needs" to cause me to eat more than I need. In leisure I do not feel lacking in quiet, comfort or reflective time. I feel stronger and more confident, more at home in my own skin, not imposing expectations on myself. This is BIG for me. In making art at leisure, and in times of leisure in camping, vacationing or being outdoors with family, I know a sense of wholeness and comfort in being who I am in the larger scheme of things, with undistracted time for doing what I am meant to do -- listen, inspire, admire and praise! Here I find contentment, an "in the flow" feeling, and it feels natural. (Which is why I go kicking and screaming back to "the real world" life I lead!) I don't transition well after a vacation where I'm spoiled silly. But alas, life is nothing if not a lesson in contrast, and I'm sure I would not appreciate the leisure so much if I were not so well acquainted with busyness!

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