Wednesday already

I slept soundly, but in my waking dreams this morning came images disturbing yet clearly meant for me to acknowledge. An approaching storm caused me to hop to, and I suddenly panicked and ran wildly to save my dog (Toto?) which i hadn't seen or held in months. Of course the dog licked my face and loved me with its forgiving eyes... Another image of a huge box of stuff -- like a rusted out car and childhood toys -- appeared. It seems I had stored these things at someone's house, but without my knowledge it was suddenly dropped into my driveway...

Such powerful images always seem to come with me on this yearly vacation to the lake. Why is that? Because I am quiet and still and unencumbered with activity, and may better heed such a wake up call? Because daily I immerse myself and am surrounded by magical water? Because here is a place that offers time with extended family and other ways of living?

Chip was beautifully attentive in listening to my heavy, burdensome dreams. He helped me to release them as he held me close. He tells me I am an amazing woman and he loves me. He knows how to lift my heavy heart with acceptance and that gives me strength. After finding reassurance and comfort in Chip, I felt a need for a baptism. I felt a call to let any guilt, fear, perceived inadequacies and heaviness be put to rest, that my soul may rise again, purged and like new. There is the lake, calling me...

Upon further consideration (on Friday morning) I see this in these dreams -- the box left in my driveway is baggage, and the dog needing to be rescued, though I didn't appear to care for it, is mending loving relationships with forgiveness. They represent poignant, subconscious feelings bubbling to the surface. I do heed such dreams, but usually not without also feeling a tinge of guilt followed by a repentent spirit. Chip, and even my children remind me not to take them so seriously in a negative sense.

Being in one another's business without the balance of pure, sincere communication, makes for a distrustful environment. Guilt begets loathing of self and the rejection of self and others who care for you.

There, now that I have that out there, I can meet this day with free and open arms...